This is for everyone who wants to know what happened, and so that I don't have to explain it several times.
She got a job at Puget Sound Blood Center right after she finished her internship. She then told me that I would have to move to S. King county, because she couldn't do a long distance relationship for a length of time that was unknown. So I accepted a job in Seattle and moved to Kent. Within a couple of months she starts making comments about not having enough time with friends (particularly guy friends). I figured that she was finally opening to the idea that I've had close female friends that are no more than that. We re-evaluate our boundaries with hanging out with friends, and I feel for the first time that she is finally getting over a really big insecurity. She began having outings with "people" from work.
One day she calls me randomly on my way home from work. She asks me if she can go to a movie with "friends" from work. we had plans that night, so I was glad that she told me about it, but one thing surprised me. She asked if it was alright if one of them was a guy. I said that it was fine, because the boundary for that was that if it was a group setting. I never met the guy, and she knew that I would not be comfortable with just the two of them on an outing. The next day I was cooking us dinner and she slipped in saying that it was just her and the other guy at the movie. Of course I confronted her and asked her why she would lie to me about it just being the two of them. She of course claims that she told me that it was just the two them. An argument ensues, with me trying to convince her that she went on a date with this guy, and we eventually get over it by the time she has to go to work.
The next day, again as I'm on my way home from work, she calls me saying that she's going bowling with "people" from work that evening. With the last night still fresh, I asked her who all was going. With some hesitation she states that it's just her and the same guy from the movie. By this time I'm freaking out in my mind. I ask her if it would be OK if I came bowling as well since I had no plans. She flat out said no, that it would be awkward. I then ask her why it would be awkward, and she quickly changes her mind. Not knowing the area well I ask her directions to the bowling alley. Her directions were so vague that even someone who knew where they were going couldn't follow them. I gave up on the directions and told her to just go anyway, and that if it ended up just being those two that there would be absolutely no way that deny that it was a date. She gave in as well and just came right to my place for dinner.
We argued almost everyday about her and this other guy. I told her that from my view point that it was obvious that he was trying to get her to date him, and doing a good job at it. She denied that she even had a crush on him. After a couple of weeks she says that she needs to "explore other options." She says that she needs to have date-like experiences with someone other than me so that she can really be sure that I was the one for her. By the way we had agreed about a year previous to get married, but we didn't tell anyone because we didn't have jobs and I couldn't afford the ring yet. I didn't really agree to this and told her that the only way that i would be OK with it was that she wouldn't see the guy that she went to the movie with. This was my ONLY condition. She refused it. I flat out told her that I didn't trust him, and that I didn't believe that she would be able to remove herself from a situation that would compromise our relationship.
After a week of back and forth on the issue I finally give in. I knew by this point that it was the point of no return and that if our relationship was to continue, we'd have a lot of work to do. She told me that i could talk to her if I needed to. I lasted 2 days. I called her cell, her home phone and sent out 4 e-mails over the next couple of days. She was ignoring me. Over the next week she slowly phased me out and sent me an e-mail saying how she thinks that there is too much that is broken. I was devastated. I called her and begged her to change her mind, but she held fast. I dropped off her stuff the next day and we had one last chat.
A few days later I find a few more things that I forgot to bring to her on the last trip. I call ahead and leave a message that I'd be there. When I got there, her car was in the drive way, and given the time, I knew that she had just got home form work. I rang the bell and knocked several times. I could hear her go up and down the stairs, but she never answered the door. I called and said that I left the bag on the door. I looped around the block, and the bag was missing and the door was just closing when I came back around.
A few days later she changed her status on facebook to "in a relationship" and has yet to log back in. I know by a mutual friend that within a couple of weeks that she had a new boyfriend. I know exactly who it is, and can now only assume that the previousely mentioned outings with "people" from work were really just the two of them. She's such a shy person, and it took her almost a month for her to claim me as her BF, and it took 2 months to get the first kiss in. (She wouldn't let me)
She sheated on my pure and simple. I looked up the signs, and she nailed every one of them. She did the one thing to me that she said was the only thing that she could NEVER forgive anyone for. She even wouldn't watch movies where she knew that someone cheated on someone in the movie. She was so paranoid with me cheating on her for the longest time, and it took months for me to convince her otherwise. Looking back I think that that was the reason she came with me to the Newman Center. She wasn't interested in the community, she was making sure that I wan't cheating on her.
This is only the begining of my whole ordeal, but the rest is for other postings.
